Words can hurt

                 We have to realize what impact our words can have on others. I know my big mouth can get me in a lot of trouble, a lot of you can probably relate! I once posted on youTube that I was once told that I was too fat to date someone and this guy replied saying that my last name (Kimball) fit me because I was round and a big fat fatty, I will skip the rest of his comment because it was just that mean. Our words can hurt others who are already hurting. Choose your words wisely

HIV and STIs/STDs, the church and the industry

            There are 15 new cases of STIs or STDs a week in the porn industry even though they test every week. One in 2 sexually active youth will get a STI or STD before the age of 25. Those are scary stats and I think the church should care! Why we don't care I don't know! I guess the church likes to believe that everyone waits until marriage but I know lots of people who didn't wait. One of them could easily have contracted something. Over 1 million people are infected every year! We need to get our heads out of the sand and promote safe sex and testing. Instead of promoting just waiting we should say "you should try to wait but if not then you should be safe!"

Why we should support ministries and missionaries

               The bible teaches to give our time, talents and treasures to God but what does that truly mean? That means supporting churches, missionaries and ministries. The support doesn't always have to be money, you can volunteer. I know I'm constantly trying to recruit people to volunteer for gift prep or outreach. I also know every ministry (including mine) needs money, volunteers and stuff. The problem is everybody thinks someone else will do it and that it's someone else's job to take care of it. Why put something off on to someone that you could do yourself? You maybe surprised at how much you enjoy it and how much God will bless you (if your motives are good). We dint become Christians to just sit in the pews or chairs at church and do nothing else we become Christians to help others and to spread the word (and love) of God.
                  
                    So my challenge is to get out of the pews (or seats) and your comfort zone to spread the love of God. Help a local ministry, sponsor a ministry or missionary, volunteer anywhere that needs help (ministry or not). Leave comments to tell me if you are already are out of your comfort zone or looking to do so.

Blessing

               I have a friend who is an older guy. He is such a blessing since my step dad is busy and my biological dad isn't around. While in Atlanta he would take me out for lunch and stuff. He makes himself available for questions or venting. With more and more women not having a good male mentor in their life men like my friend are an amazing blessings.

Christianity submission vs. the world

                     I'm in a bible study group our last 2 meetings were about submission. We as Christians are supposed to submit to God and women are supposed to submit to their husbands. In this word submission isn't a popular concept unless you are into something more underground like BDSM which was made popular or more accepted by 50 shades of grey.

             The submission to the will of God is more understandable to the world then the wives submission to their husbands. I still struggle with this concept but the world thinks submission means slave. Submission in this  situation means listen respect and honor.

Rules for dealing with your single friends

When you are married and are friends or family  with single people there's some rules you need to remember so that you don't offend or hurt your friends or family.

1) don't view them as a burden
2) don't have pity on single people
3) when your single friend comes to you giddy and happy be careful not to dampen their spirit
4) watch your words don't say stupid stuff ("you're lucky to be single", "ok, where's the flaw", "it'll happen one day", etc )
5) if you know that the person your loved one is dating is no good, say something but say it nicely
6) when the loved one is frustrated or upset about a situation or a break up listen be their ride or die (ride or die means to be there no matter what)
7) if they become bitter or rude when they're not in a relationship, this is a phase, don't be rude
8) be sensitive and kind to them
9) when or if they announce "I'm engaged!!!!!!" make a HUGE deal about it fawn over the ring and the plans.
10) remember that you were once single
11) don't judge or lecture  them for mistakes
12) sometimes we need you to remember we are not like you and your married friends because guess what we are SINGLE

Separation of church and state

               I grew up hearing about "separation of church and state", I also grew up with a grandma who blames God for everything. It wasn't until I got involved in church that I had an opinion. I see the difference between students or staff having a conversation on religion and a staff member or student preaching to a whole crowd  outside of CLC (Christian learning center) or FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes). But recently 2 stories have sparked the idea of religious freedom and separation of church and state.

               There's a high school in Georgia where coaches and students were having bible studies and mass baptisms. If it was after or before school I don't see the problem. if it was DURING school then yes I see the problem. Religious freedom still exists. The group "freedom against religion" had a problem with the students and coaches hosting the events. The thing is "freedom against religion has a problem with anything Christian and they're not even in Georgia. Why can't this group just leave us all alone?

           Then there's the lady in Kentucky who denied gay couples marriage licenses. To me if you knew this was a law why stay at the job? Christians can have a lot of government jobs without compromising their beliefs. it's in the bible to follow all of those in authority and that includes the government

What's scandalous to you may not be so scandalous

                 When I started hanging out with my friend Philip, I kept it secret. I know how people think, a sweet (and at times naïve) girl hanging out with a much older man would cause all my family and friends to worry. See but what people don't know is Philip mentors people who have a rough go of it when it comes to dating. He gives girls hope that there is good guys out there.

                 I tell that story to say that judgment ruins things. It ruins friendships, relationships, families and your world. I know if anyone in my life judged my friendship with Philip before they knew the whole story and/or him it would change how I view them. It will also put a strain on our relationship. If you have a legit reason for a couple not to be together (abuse, one of them is under 18, etc.) then yes say something.

              Also if someone's life style is dangerous or illegal you need to say something. A lot of people have different morals so morality isn't an legit argument. Everyone has a journey and it's not up to anyone else to judge.

What not to say to or think about single people

                     So in my years of being single I've heard a lot of people who mean well say a lot of hurtful or stupid things. If they don't say it, they think it. Just because we are single doesn't mean there is something wrong with us. Nor is there something wrong with the people we're dating. We don't want your pity and we don't want to feel like we're burden. I asked two my friends to tell me if I'm a burden to them.

                   I once overheard a lady talking to her husband about one of her female single friends. She was saying how she felt bad for her single friends, how the single friend was always alone at night but had dates with guys or lunch dates with friends. She was talking about singleness like it was a sickness or a curse. I'd rather be single and miserable than married and miserable.

               I know I dated stinkers, but that doesn't make EVERYBODY I date a stinker. Not all guys are pigs, I just seem to pick a lot of pigs. So if I tell someone about someone who I'm dating the LAST thing I want to hear is "so what's wrong with him?" even if you say it jokingly it still hurts. Also if you say "keep your eyes open with this one" it's still like saying there's something wrong with them. If there is something wrong with the person someone you love is dating then tell them what the problem is specifically.

            When someone asks "oh are you dating anyone?" And I say no I'm working on some stuff they say "oh you will find someone." NO! I'm good! I could go on and on about what not to say to a single person but there's tons of youtube videos on that. Basically if you watch the video "stuff people say to single people" or "stuff Christians say to singles" that's the list of what not to say to us.

             So what do you say or think? If you receive a "he dumped me" text go to her and just let her literally cry on your shoulder. Let him vent and cuss. And when they say "what do I do?" give them your advice. All I wanted after my last break up was someone to sit in my bed with me and say "he was ugly...... and stupid...... but he'll get his one day and I hope we're there when it happens." And when your friend grabs your hand after a break up and says "I love you" say it back or say "I know" and give her hand a tight squeeze.

Why sex is so hard to talk about

                    Sex is hard to talk about because we don't know how or when to talk about it. Even writing this I have no clue what to say. There's also the added complications of gender identity and sexual orientation. There's also porn addiction. Also with the introduction of 50 shades of grey the fetish and kink community is now in the spot light.

                   The church has messed with our heads as well. Those of us who have not had sex yet are curious and have had it bashed in our heads that it's precious. I read an article about this girl who had to leave the church because after she got married she felt guilty and dirty. We as Christians have to ask ourselves have we shamed sex?

                            I was always taught that sex was beautiful when done in the "right way". That means any reason beyond love is wrong. This day and age sex is so different because people don't wait for love, they also don't just do it with people who they love. We shouldn't "shame" those who have sex nor should we shame those who haven't.

                         Sex shouldn't be this ugly thing we don't talk about cause then people act out. Parents should also say if the kid should do something before marriage there is no shame and tell the child about safe sex.

Celebrating those who love

  

 

You may not agree with  the Jenners or the Kardashian but I truly believe that Khloe is amazing to Caitlyn. She visits her, brings her shoes and treats her with dignity. So I want to celebrate her for being amazing.

 

 

 

What I wish pregnant, married, engaged, parents and dating people knew

                 I'm single, with out kids and nor do I plan to be getting married or have babies any time soon. Having said that, I wanted to give some advice to all those who are pregnant, married, engaged, parents and are in a relationship. Now I'm not cynical or bitter but you don't have to be those to relate to this post. I'm happy for you but this is what I wish you knew. To all of the groups I've named please don't take what you have for granite and don't complain about what you have to someone who's not in the same boat as you. For example if you're pregnant or have kids don't complain about being pregnant or having kids to someone who doesn't have kids or isn't pregnant because you don't know how they feel about being pregnant they might be longing to be pregnant but can't get pregnant you just never know.

              To pregnant people and parents, be careful how you speak to non parents and people who are not pregnant. Some people can't get pregnant so they long for all your complaints if you say "I'm so tired of being pregnant" or whatever you are going to cause women who want to be pregnant but can't get pregnant to you think "at least you are pregnant" and they would get so mad at you so just watch what you say around people because she don't know how much of a longing they have for what you have. Some nonpregnant people look at you and they could be jealous because some women may want to be pregnant but can't get pregnant so they're going to look at you with a jealousy.

          
           To married or engaged people and people in a relationship I say to watch complaints. Also watch over doing PDA. It hurts me when I see everyone paired off. Also when you say stuff like "You'll find someone.... don't worry about it." or "I don't understand why you're still single." I don't know why I'm still single, I take comfort in the fact that at least I have my friends.


       So to everyone who isn't single or childless I say be nice and just be a friend

             

           

                 

               

               

Love wins

                  On Friday (June 26) love won for gay people when the Supreme Court decided to allow gay marriage to be legal in all 50 states. A lot of Christians decided to take to the streets and the protest or take to social media  air out their digust. I probably have a unpopular belief for a Christian and that I have good reason to believe so we need to take you look at what I believe what I believe .

                          A lot of people believe that marriage is defined by 1 man and 1 woman for life. My answer to that is not everyone believes the same thing. Christians bully gays which is wrong,

                         The second argument that people have is that gay marriage will ruin the sanctity of marriage. Straight people ruins it too. We get divorce like it's nothing and we have shows that treat it like a game (bachelorette/ bachelor and marriage at first sight). We also cheat and have weird married relationships (open marriage and swingers).

Loving transgender people like Caitlyn

                Caitlyn Jenner is the biggest news of the month. A lot of people are confused by the lifestyle. According to Wikipedia transgender is the state of one's gender identity or gender expression not matching one's assigned sex. Transgender is independent of sexual orientation; transgender people may identify as heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual, asexual, etc. So basically Caitlyn was born a boy (Bruce) but felt like he identified as a woman (Caitlyn). So they change their sex legally and physically.

               What I think trips people up is not knowing what transgender is. I've even had  a tough time understanding what it is, I thought it was them saying that God made a mistake. In reality I believe it's because it's a identity issue. We all identify as male or female because of hormones, it's the same with transgender.

                If a transgender person opens up to you about their journey it's because they trust you and they believe you won't judge them. So the best thing you can do is to listen without judgment. I think we judge what we don't know or don't understand.

              I may post more as more comes to me but this was just what was on my heart to share right now. I saw way too much hate out there!

               

The Duggar controversy

                     I wanted to wait to talk about the Duggar controversy until I knew how I felt about it I also didn't want to have anything I say on here to hurt the family or anyone else who may have been a victim of molestation or anything similar. So for those who don't know the Duggars are a family of 19 kids and 6 grand kids and they also are known for not being able to touch during courtship or dating.  So my thoughts are kind of mixed. On the one hand part of me thinks they it was a long time coming that there is going to be something wrong like they were too perfect and there's some crack that was waiting to show. No family is perfect. Also no family has a bunch of kids and not have one that is bad or that is it going to be sexually deviant or anything like that.

 

                      My problem with the Duggars is that they don't allow their kids to touch while dating they don't  want them to hug, hold hands and not kiss or anything until at least engagement. In this day in age is really unrealistic not because porn is more prevalent but because sex is more openly discussed. Even though I'm not experienced in that I do know that I wonder what does he like what does it feel like. They may have friends who have had sex already and siblings that had sex already. They may wonder what it feel like what is like and so they're going to  they're want to experiment with people and that's totally natural but the problem is  that their parents think  sex is bad you know and they need to realize that they shouldn't shame sex and they shouldn't not discuss sex.

 

                  I take offense to the fact that this family disgraces sex and then is hurt when sex is an issue with a child of theirs. I'm hurt for the victims and I'm ashamed of a "Christian guy" has done something so disgusting to young girls. What's even more disgusting and disturbing is that Josh touched his sisters. I could see touching someone else but your sisters GROSS!!!

 

 

Please tell me what you guys think!!!

Churches turn the blind eye to the industry

              I don't know why more people don't want to go on the outreaches with me. I just think people are scared that theres something wrong with going into sex crazed places. Or they just don't feel like trekking to Atlanta.  But how much of the Christian journey is about what we WANT to do or what we FEEL like doing?
                
                It's also about love and not judgment. But a lot of people are telling me that Jesus couldn't possibly love the people who work in the adult entertainment industry. They probably also don't understand the industry. Just because you don't understand why people do the things they do doesn't mean you should judge them.

             Some of theses girls may be rough or tough but peel those tough and rough edges away and they're like all of us they need to be loved and accepted. to feel like they belong. When I hug these girls I feel like I'm loved and accepted so shouldn't they feel the same with us Christians?

How the church fails with teaching about sex in the sex crazed world

                When I was 16 I pledged my virginity to God and my future husband. That's all well and good but what happens when you're almost the 30 year old virgin? I think the church doesn't prepare us for that, they prepare us for being the 21 year old virgin but never 28 and still a virgin. What I think we should do is encourage the women who waited to take on at least one young woman to encourage her to wait and tell her how it's done. If there's no young women who are married and waited then that's a sign of the times.


                    The church likes to pretend that you will never want to do the deed or get bullied to do so. They like to think that you will never want to do it until marriage. What happens when you can't wait till you say I do?

Prayers

                   I am praying right now about the possibility of discontinuing my ministry and just helping other ministries. I like the ideas I was getting for the ministry

Making people happy

                   As Christians it's not our jobs to make others happy but it should be a byproduct of our good works and love. Recently I told the guy I'm dating that I wanted to learn how to fish and that made him happy not because he wanted me to be like him but because he wants to share something he loves with me. I knew it would make him happy and it would bring us closer. How much bonding will happen on that boat during those trips?

              In my ministry I aim to make the girls feel happy and loved. They may have depression or feel numb so this may make them feel loved and happy. I know they make me happy and I hope to do this for a while.

People think I'm crazy

                   A lot of women think of strippers as trashy or whatever but I think they're precious. I remember one time I went in and there was a girl that was coming off the floors and I asked "Hey sweetie, did you get one of these?" The young lady squeals "SWEETIE!!!!" and hugs me. These girls want hugs and acceptance. I love these girls so much and I get so much out of it. They need for some one to care about them, no judgment. They need more women to say or show "I care about you, you're precious." So this is my call to action for women

Dancing for the devil

               In the book "dancing for the devil" Anny Donewald tells her story about how she went from stripping to helping the girls that work in the clubs. She had a few stories about the problems facing the girls and also the problems facing the ministries like mine. With the girls there's drugs and safety concerns like robberies. With the ministries a lot of people think it's not very christian like to go into the clubs. If this is God's will He will protect us. I learned a lot about the industry through anny. I also learned how to love the girls. So please read "dancing for the devil" by Anny Donewald

Bible studies

             I've been praying about bibles studies and I think I will start it in Gwinnett with singles and then allow the girls from the clubs, if they want to come. If you are interested in coming please let me know in the comments

guys and my ministry

             I recently had a discussion with a guy about the role of men and my ministry. He was saying that men should be let in because Jesus lead his disciples (12 men) into similar situations. Honestly I understand his stand but where he is wrong is that no one is Jesus except Jesus. I'm not strong enough to lead men into a sexually charged atmosphere. I know it's not my job to protect men but it is my job to protect my ministry.


             So why aren't men allowed in? I have a few reasons and here are most of them that I can think of off the top of my head.

1. It's a sexually charged place with naked or half naked ladies. That reason speaks for itself.
2. It could lead to lustful thoughts. I don't want to be responsible for that.
3. Lots of the girls may not trust men. Lots of the girls were abused by men.
4. It looks suspect. Who's going to believe that a man is going into a strip club for ministry.
5. It's a conviction I have for this point of my ministry.
6. Men should minister to men and women should minister to women. Only women know the struggles of other women.

       

     I may think of others later but those are the best ones. I may use men to help in other capacities in the ministry. I may also allow men to make their own team and go minister male dancers. Leave your thoughts in comments.

Christians hate

                  The definition of hate is intense feelings of dislike. As Christians we are always taught to love and not to judge, this lesson is lost on some people. I feel like some people are so judgmental and hateful. When I tell people about this ministry they say that it's sinful to surround myself with that industry. If God truly called me to do this he will protect me from anything evil. They also think that God couldn't possibly love the industry. Well why in the world did Jesus go through what he went through on the cross just for select people. They also said that God couldn't love those in the industry because their life is so dark, well we were all in darkness so your argument is invalid


              I did a study on this and if you want proof just read romans or John. Don't hate. Christians are supposed to be little Christs and Christ wouldn't hate.

Virginity is a huge deal

                         I was on dating sites for months and I had 2 thing working against me: my virginity and I wasn't a drop dead gorgeous skinny girl. I had 12 men turn me down because I was a virgin who wasn't willing to send out "intimate pictures". They believed that sex was a huge part of the relationship. I talked to one of my friends and she said that she didn't believe that sex was such a big deal, meaning she thought that sex isn't the end all be all in a relationship. Sex has taken over our world. I can't find a date because I'm not willing to just give it away and there's no way I was sending pictures.
     
                       Why is sex such a big deal? I can understand the curiosity of a virgin but being so obsessed with it that you wouldn't date a virgin, that is foreign to me. One of the 12 actually told me that he didn't want to train me. Its unbelievable the excuses I heard.

                      I want to know what y'all think about dating, virginity & sex. Please leave a comment to start or join the conversation!

Baby hats for sale

Handmade baby hats will be sold to raise money for ministry stuff. Each is $4

My dreams for my ministry

            I never knew what to say when people asked "What's the end game?" I thought all ministries had one end game and that was to love people. That will always be our end game for the ministry. I feel like if I say I want to get the girls into church or I want at least one girl to get saved then I'm taking the plans from God or I'm belittling what He wants to do. So I just make the goal to love people in the industry. Here are my plans for the ministry.

• Current goals/needs: volunteers to go into the club and get some kind of schedule set in stone. We also need funding
• Future goals: bible studies and dinners for the ladies

May outreach

I'm praying about out reach for may. I have 2 places I want to try to go. It'll be on the 14th or 15th around 7:15pm.

Holly Madison contemplated suicide while living in the Playboy Mansion By Mark Gray

It wasn't all bunnies and skin baring in the legendary Playboy Mansion. One of the most famous former Playmate's is releasing a book, detailing life within the legendary digs, and it isn't pretty.
Holly Madison has penned a new memoir about being one of Hugh Hefner's live-in girlfriends and she's holding nothing back, it seems.
"Life inside the notorious Mansion wasn't a dream at all—and quickly became her nightmare," according to promotional material. "After losing her identity, her sense of self-worth, and her hope for the future, Holly found herself sitting alone in a bathtub contemplating suicide."
Apparently backstabbing and manipulation were common themes within the mansion.
"I'm excited to finally share my story and what I've learned from my personal experiences both inside and outside of the Playboy Mansion," Holly told Us Weekly. "I think my stories will surprise people and I'm looking forward to lifting the veil of mystique and clearing up the misconceptions so often associated with my life."
"Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny," will debut on June 23.
Sounds juicy!

Tonight

Tonight would have been our out reach but sadly no one wants to help out. I'm starting to think I'm crazy, or that people think I'm crazy. I will be so glad when the guy I'm dating is home full time, maybe he will help

Why I hate Muary

                 It seems like every time you turn on Muary he is doing a "whose the daddy of this kid?" show. Some of those have to be a desperate attempt to get on tv, which makes the people look bad. It makes every girl look bad. Why would you want to put it out there that you had sex with 10 guys so close that you don't know who the dad is? Then the people have annoying reactions 90% of the time. Some times you get the sweet "I wanna see my baby" reaction. It's just all very weird

Baby girl found dead same day parents were going on 'Maury' by ginger otis

An 8-month-old girl died in a Connecticut hotel room Wednesday hours before her parents were to appear on “The Maury Show” to determine her paternity, according to reports.

The family, from Ohio, flew to Stamford to tape an episode that would reveal the baby’s true father, the Stamford Advocate reported.

The baby died after getting wedged between the wall and mattress in the hotel, according to authorities.

She was found by her 27-year-old mother, who woke up early and made the tragic discovery.

The baby’s 25-year-old father was also in the room and backed up the mother’s story, according to the Advocate.

A 2-year-old boy also belonging to the couple was in the room and unharmed.

Medical examiners have yet to determine a cause of death, police said, according to the newspaper.

But an autopsy ruled out physical abuse, sexual abuse or neglect.

Police and producers for Maury Povich's talk show confirmed the couple had flown in from Ohio to appear in an episode.

They were supposed to tape their segment Wednesday, the same day the girl died, the newspaper reported.

Producers declined to say why the couple were going on to the show, which specializes in family drama.

But sources said “The Maury Show” planned to unveil the results of a DNA test to prove the identity of the child’s biological father, the Advocate reported.

March postponed

                  Tuesday was supposed to be our outreach but we are postponing it until we can get our team together. We are looking for men and women 21 or older for outreach. The guys will only be driving, they will not go in. Girls will go in to hand out gifts, hugs and prayers. Anyone younger than 21 and guys can pray and help with gift prep. please let me know if you can help!

The upside of 50 Shades

             Yes my darling Christian friends there's an upside to 50 shades of Grey. It's giving young couples the chance to talk frankly about what they will accept in their relationship. I know a lot of people are against it because it's anti woman but it's helping the conversation.

                The guy I'm dating and I talked about hitting and controlling. He said that he would never hit me and hurt me. He also let's me live my life and never tries to control me.

              This conversation needs to be had by all couples. I adore Zach I'm his princess and I am glad the movie made has forced us to have this conversation.

The sugar daddy epidemic

**DISCLAIMER: I'M NOT JUDGING ANYONE**

 

                     There's every kind of dating site and app you can imagine. One of the most misunderstood or controversial is seeking arrangement. If you don't know seeking arrangement is the sugar daddy/sugar baby version of  match. I did my research and I have some thoughts on the site, the relationships or "arrangements" and the people. Let's start with the babies.  Ok so the babies  are the ones that are receiving the money or gifts or trips. These girls come in all different varieties.

 

1. The career baby: the girl who just constantly has a "daddy" wither or not she has a job. I honestly cant judge these girls cause if they have a job the sugar daddy could just be for the experience or the "extras" in life.
2. The I need to make rent or a car payment baby: she may need just $10 a month or $100 just once to make sure she has enough to pay her bills. It's understandable to not have enough to pay your bills or just wanting to make sure you have extra or a safety net.
3. The just for experience baby: she may not need the money this may just be an experience for her. She may just want the extras.
4. The I just want to pay for school baby: She may just want to focus totally on her school work. She may just want to focus on her studies instead of having to worry about a job and school.

                    All of these babies have their reason so we shouldn't judge, actually we shouldn't judge anyone. For each baby there's a perfect daddy. There's  few different types of daddies but there's less catagories of daddies then there are babies.

1. The I just want my personal prostitute daddy: he wants to just have sex with his baby and maybe something else but mainly sex. He may not take her to events or anything.
2. The I want arm candy or travel buddy daddy: He may also want sex but he mainly wants arm candy or a travel buddy.
3. The I just want company daddy: he probably is just a lonely man who wants someone to pay him some attention

           
               These daddies don't all want sex. But they all want what a woman can offer. Some may be married or separated and I totally judged the married ones..... I'm sorry but I do.

      
                                           

 

 

        

Sseko and lace and grace

         Watching shark tank and there was a company named Sseko that empowers women in western Africa by providing them jobs as shoe makers. They didn't get a deal but I like the idea of creating a business where you can empower women by giving them a job, a purpose. One of the sharks mentioned one of the deals she made in a previous season with grace and lace. Grace and lace partners with angel house to build an orphanage. It's a super cute company that helps people. The best part is that its a Christian company.


           There's a few other companies that gives to others. My thing is if you are in business why not give to charity or give people a chance to better themselves. I want my ministry to be about empowerment just like these businesses

50 shades and what you should know

             I was one of those girls who read 50 shades of grey.  Back then I didn't know much about BDSM or abuse. I'm learning a lot. I was in abusive relationship for a month and it was a blessing in disguise. I now understand a lot more about how relationships should run. In my relationship I was never hit, thank God.  He would forbid me to talk to my best friend, I wasn't allowed to lose weight (I gained almost 9 pounds which he loved),and if I checked in with my family he got mad.

            In 50 shades of grey Christian would randomly track Anna down and show up wherever she was, he would spank her when she did something wrong, he wouldn't let her do certain things and there were lots of rules. He picked her clothes and car, he also picked her doctor!  I don't remember lots of went on but I just remember him being really controlling. There's a difference between being protective and being controlling. Sometimes it's a fine line but when done right being protective is awesome!

           I always thought abuse was just physical and I was wrong. Abuse can be emotional, mental, sexual or physical. As far as the physical element Christian spanks and does other stuff to Anna. The BDSM lifestyle is one that is totally out there to us on the outside. Why would someone want to get hit for pleasure? People are into some weird stuff. So is BDSM/ pain for pleasure abuse? I have no clue. On one hand if it's between two consenting adults and they both enjoy it and it's done in a safe manner is it abuse? On  the other hand it's still a man hitting a woman which we have all been taught is never ok. I'll let you come to your own conclusion on the BDSM and abuse connection. It does seem abusive if the one doing the hitting gets carried away.

              There's people that says that 50 shades of grey is anti women but 2 of the people who screwed Christian up were women. So it's not anti woman it's just not the best example of what a "normal relationship" should look like. A guy in a relationship should do some romance and not track his girlfriend. Being in an abusive relationship changed my view on parts of 50 shades.

amazing read

I read this book over the summer and it was amazing. It touched my heart. Go read!

 

 



Please Read

    Anny is amazing and funny. She just wrote a book it's now available so please pick it up!

 

 

Sex trafficking and sports

         Sex trafficking and the Superbowl are almost a perfect storm. It's also a crime of opportunity. Just think about it, tons of guys coming into town. It's not just the Superbowl, it's the Olympics and the world cup. There's millions of ladies trafficked into the city for whatever sporting event is going on. This year the super bowl was in Arizona and you wouldn't think that Arizona has much of a sex trafficking problem but then the super bowl happened. What can we do?

        

       Solution #1: Education. We have to educate ourselves about sex trafficking and what our local law enforcement and law makers are doing to stop or prevent it. Educate yourself so that you can spot the signs of it so maybe you can help.

 

        Solution #2: Cut off the demand. I know that a lot of people reading this wont be a part of this "supply/demand" relationship but I'm just putting the idea out there. Everyone knows that if cut off the demand there goes the supply.

 

         Solution #3: Educate the women in your life. These traffickers are everywhere. Teach them the signs cause traffickers don't wait on street corners anymore, they can be boyfriends or loved ones. They can also prowl for women online. so be smart! We can also teach our loved ones to cherish themselves and to value themselves.

      Solution #4: Pray. Pray for safety for the girls. Also pray for justice.

        Solution #5 Keep law enforcement and law makers accountable. If they know voters care then law makers will make sure to pass laws to six the problem



       

My redeemer lives: what it means to me

         "My redeemer lives" is an amazing reminder that no matter what  God is alive and still wanting to help and forgive us. He loves us no matter what we've done. God loves us, the guy who created everything loves us! That's huge! We got so much hope, love and peace in Him and that's what we tell the girls!

my redeemer lives

Who taught the sun where to stand in the morning?
And who told the ocean you can only come this far?
And who showed the moon where to hide till evening?
Whose words alone can catch a falling star?

Chorus:
Well I know my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
All of creation testifies
This life within me cries
I know my Redeemer lives

Ye-e-eah
The very same God
That spins things in orbit
Runs to the weary, the worn and the weak
And the same gentle hands that hold me when I'm broken
They conquered death to bring me victory

Now I know, my Redeemer lives
I know my Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I-I-I know
My Redeemer

He lives
To take away my shame
And He lives
Forever I'll proclaim
That the payment for my sins
Was the precious life He gave
And now He's alive and
There's an empty
Grave!

And I know
My Redeemer lives
He lives
I know
My Redeemer lives
Let all creation testify
Let this life within me cry
I-I-I know my Redeemer

I know
My Redeemer lives
*I know my Redeemer lives*

*I know, That I know, that I know, that I know, that I know
He lives
*my redeemer lives*
*Because He lives I can face tomorrow
He lives
*I know, I know*
He lives
*I spoke with Him this morning!*
He lives
*The tomb is empty*
He lives
*He Lives! I'm going to tell everybody!!*

 

 

the adult entertianment effect 3

              In this post we will be talking about prostitution. It's so dangerous for everyone involved. For the girls there's the dangers of disease, being raped, assault, killed, drug addictions and horrible pimps. With all these dangers prostitution is not only the oldest profession in the industry but it's the most dangerous These girls really aren't working for anyone unless they have a pimp. They're also not regulated unless they work in a brothel or "massage parlors".

           Problem #1 is that there's no regulation unless brothels and "massage parlors" are involved. Even when "massage parlors" and brothels are involved regulations aren't guaranteed. Regulations just mean that the girls will be screened like any other job but they will also get tested for STDs/STIs. So if anyone goes to a non regulated prostitute there's a chance that the "client" will get a STDs/STIs or the girls may get one.

        Problem #2 is that the girls could get raped, assaulted or killed! There's so many stories of girls getting raped, assaulted or killed. It's so dangerous that it's not worth it to a lot of girls and they try to leave. A lot of the assaults, rapes or murders maybe at the hands of a pimp. Other cases maybe from guys that don't want to pay for it, wasn't happy with the price/ "service" or guys kill the girls because they think that the girls are doing something wrong.

      Problem #3 is one that can hit anyone: drug addictions. These girls may develop the addictions to deal with everything going on. A lot overdose and die. Those who get out then have to go to rehab. This problem that can effect anyone not just girls in the industry but soccer moms or CEOs.

      Problem #4 is pimps or traffickers. Pimps or traffickers don't respect the girls so they beat the girls a lot of the times. They're like the worse boss times 300. A lot more of these people need to get arrested because they're doing so much wrong. A lot of them are soliciting minors into getting into this industry. There's 2 types of pimps the gorilla and the lover boy. The gorilla is the pimp or trafficker that beat and mistreat the girls. The lover boy may be a boyfriend. The 2 could be mixed to create the lover boy gorilla.

      These girls need love! There's something we can do love and pray! Also talk to law makers, law enforcement and hospitals to help keep them accountable and knowledgeable, We should also educate ourselves.

the adult industry effect part 2

            In part one we talked about porn and it's effect on people and relationships. Now we talk about stripping. Atlanta is one of the strip club capitals! Strip clubs bring in a ton of money and visitors to Atlanta or where ever the club is. If people visit the clubs then maybe they will go somewhere else in the city bringing more money to the city.

          Some cities don't want a club in their city for whatever reason or maybe its a church or business complaining. I know there was a case in Georgia like that where a city didn't want a club in their city. There was a case in Ohio where a church didn't want a club across the street going as far has harassing the club goers and the girls! That's a little extreme.

         Shootings are also a downside. There's 2 recent I can think of off the top of my head at Atlanta clubs. These clubs need to be safe for these girls and the club goers.

     
       

the adult entertainment industry effect

          The average age that someone sees porn is 11. The problem with porn is that it's not real what you see on that screen is what that producer and director thought a good looking couple looked like doing something that only married people should be doing. Also when someone watches the "tame" stuff they may get into the darker stuff.  It can affect how people look at others and look at sex. The person looking at porn may say "hey he/ she won't do this so I should go sleep with someone else."

         Some porn actors are bringing in teenagers either by looking approachable (like James Deen) or being super sexy. I'm not blaming the actors because like James Deen said  "if a teenager is looking at porn it's because they're curious or horny." I agree with him, before they have sex they may be curious about it.

        Porn  becomes a problem when an actor or actress isn't happy or is being disrespected.  One former porn star said in the beginning she felt loved but then she felt used and empty. I can't see that life or line of work being fulfilling for long. One thing is you may feel like you can't tell a lot of people what you do with out them judging you, so you may change it to "indie actor". Some maybe proud of what they do.

       Porn is also a problem if you pay more attention to it than your significant other or if you become addicted. Porn is the reason for almost half of all divorces it's right up there with having and affair. Porn isn't worth losing someone over!! So think before you click!

 

human and sex trafficking

human trafficking: the illegal practice of procuring or trading in human beings for the purpose of prostitution, forced labor, or other forms of exploitation.

Sex trafficking:
The federal Trafficking Victims Protection Act defines the crime of human trafficking as:
A. The recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for the purpose of a commercial sex act where such an act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion, or in which the person induced to perform such act has not attained 18 years of age, or
B. The recruitment, harboring, transportation, provision, or obtaining of a person for labor or services, through the use of force, fraud, or coercion for the purpose of subjection to involuntary servitude, peonage, debt bondage, or slavery.”
Domestic minor sex trafficking occurs when U.S. citizen or lawful permanent resident minors (under the age of 18) are commercially sexually exploited. Children can be commercially sexually exploited through prostitution, pornography, and/or erotic entertainment.
The commercial aspect of the sexual exploitation is critical to separating the crime of trafficking from sexual assault, molestation or rape. The term “commercial sex act” is defined by the federal Trafficking Victims Protection Act as the giving or receiving of anything of value (money, drugs, shelter, food, clothes, etc.) to any person in exchange for a sex act.
The age of the victim is the critical issue — there is no requirement to prove force, fraud, or coercion was used to secure the victim’s actions. The law recognizes the effect of psychological manipulation by the trafficker, as well as the effect of threat of harm which traffickers/pimps use to maintain control over their young victims.

       Sex trafficking can  be caused by a boyfriend/ pimp, a kidnapper or family/ friend. It's a sickening $86 billion a day business. That's right, 86 billion dollars a day! It's happening all  around the world. It's worse today because of back page.com and other websites. What can we do?   If you see something fishy say something! Talk to your government officials about what they are doing. Lets stop this

Abortion

               A few of the girls in the industry may have to endure an abortion. I say endure because some ladies feel guilty or they may have damage that may cause them not be able to have kids. Pro choice people say that they shouldn't feel guilty but you are killing a child! At 4 weeks you have an embryo! At 6 weeks arms, legs and the jaw starts to develop, so does a heart "bulge". So why would you kill something that is already \developing places where certain things will go? It just doesn't make sense.

               Some ladies have some selfish/weird reasons to have abortions like they don't want to get fat. They may also have a pimp. house mother, manager or boyfriend that don't want them to have the kid for whatever reason. Do research before you have an abortion

Volunteer opportunities

  I'm looking for a team of my own we have some requirements for each "positions".

1)gift prep: any age or gender who will help with cards and gifts

2) driver: any gender, 18 years old and will drive to the clubs. If the driver would like to go in to deliver the gifts they have to be a female and 21 or older

3) gift delivering person: goes in and gives gifts to the girls. They may also need to pray with the girls

if interested email me at hockeymissionary@gmail.com

Words hurt

              Recently Bill Cosby was accused of rape by at least 12 women. Now what if these women were lying? Then it would hurt their credibility and his legacy. Is that worth your 15 minutes of fame? I'm not saying who's lying or who I believe because no body was there except for the women and Bill. I wonder who these women are and why they waited so long to step forward if what they say is true. Why wait to come out after the statue of limitations is up? That doesn't make sense.

 

               All this got me thinking about how words hurt. It can be something like accusing someone of something or calling someone one a name that will hurt their feelings. At job corps the b word, the n word and other derogatory terms were dropped so often that if I had a dollar for every time that was used I wouldn't have to work ever! Those words are hurtful and shouldn't be used to describe someone.

 

              I think the world would be a lot better especially for women if derogatory words were cut out of our everyday use

Up the creek with a paddle

           We have a natural need for other people. I had a problem with picking the wrong people, now I'm getting better about picking people. I recently started talking this guy I call paddle. I go to him for advice or for a laugh. Why are people like paddle important?

           Reason #1: Sanity/ health. Paddle is good for a laugh if nothing for nothing else. It is shown that laughing is good for the heart and the sanity. We all get stressed out but if we can laugh it will cut the stress. I forget what I was stressed or mad about when I'm laughing at something stupid paddle said.

           Reason #2: prospective! When I say something stupid paddle says "noooo player! Nah uh fruit loop." I just start laughing. You got to know that with me and paddle there's no filter on either one of us which makes for some interesting conversations. I end up laughing at some comment he makes and he probably thinks I'm crazy.

            Reason #3: biblical. The bible says that it's not good for men to be alone. That just means we can't do life alone we need people. We may not like people but we need people!

            So people like paddle are so important because they're just good for us. They don't ask for much. Paddle even calls just to check in if he doesn't hear from me for awhile (I hear the collective awww already and I know!). I have a hot date for valentine's day and he offered to help pick out the dress. It's kind of cool how this guy operates, just so laid back and awesome.

            So paddle thanks for being well you!
          

Do people change?

              I believe people can change given a good reason. I fully agree with Steve Harvey's quote about guys "guys can and will change for the right woman". Anyone can change for any reason, they just need to want to change. Some people never want to change until they have a very good reason. So why do people want to change?

          Reason #1 is they may loose something. People who may loose their life, a loved one, a job or something of value will change will quick. People have stuff for a reason and they don't want to loose it!

          Reason #2 health. Addictions and being over weight may cause health issues and they will have to change their behavior to fix their health.

          Reason #3 someone/something is inspiring it. Some people may have a loved one or a religion that inspires change. They decide hey this person or religion deserves a better me.

           People may change so please be patient if someone has something that needs to change

    

Obstacles: no

                I recently went on out reach to 3 clubs. I heard two no's and only one yes, I was disappointed by the no's but what could I do? We all have disappointments and times where we hear no. The question is how do you take the word no? Well you have 3 options: be hurt then get over it, take it in stride, and the not so grown up way; just sulk.

               While I was hurt I got over it and I learned to deal with it. I know with this ministry that "No" doesn't mean "no" forever. In life no sometimes means no forever.I know there is a bunch of clubs I can go to. So by the time I go to other clubs I can go back to the ones who said no.

Wanna learn more or help?

Please contact me. I know I can use help and other ministries can use help. Kimball.christina86@gmail.com