50 shades and what you should know

             I was one of those girls who read 50 shades of grey.  Back then I didn't know much about BDSM or abuse. I'm learning a lot. I was in abusive relationship for a month and it was a blessing in disguise. I now understand a lot more about how relationships should run. In my relationship I was never hit, thank God.  He would forbid me to talk to my best friend, I wasn't allowed to lose weight (I gained almost 9 pounds which he loved),and if I checked in with my family he got mad.

            In 50 shades of grey Christian would randomly track Anna down and show up wherever she was, he would spank her when she did something wrong, he wouldn't let her do certain things and there were lots of rules. He picked her clothes and car, he also picked her doctor!  I don't remember lots of went on but I just remember him being really controlling. There's a difference between being protective and being controlling. Sometimes it's a fine line but when done right being protective is awesome!

           I always thought abuse was just physical and I was wrong. Abuse can be emotional, mental, sexual or physical. As far as the physical element Christian spanks and does other stuff to Anna. The BDSM lifestyle is one that is totally out there to us on the outside. Why would someone want to get hit for pleasure? People are into some weird stuff. So is BDSM/ pain for pleasure abuse? I have no clue. On one hand if it's between two consenting adults and they both enjoy it and it's done in a safe manner is it abuse? On  the other hand it's still a man hitting a woman which we have all been taught is never ok. I'll let you come to your own conclusion on the BDSM and abuse connection. It does seem abusive if the one doing the hitting gets carried away.

              There's people that says that 50 shades of grey is anti women but 2 of the people who screwed Christian up were women. So it's not anti woman it's just not the best example of what a "normal relationship" should look like. A guy in a relationship should do some romance and not track his girlfriend. Being in an abusive relationship changed my view on parts of 50 shades.