What not to say to or think about single people

                     So in my years of being single I've heard a lot of people who mean well say a lot of hurtful or stupid things. If they don't say it, they think it. Just because we are single doesn't mean there is something wrong with us. Nor is there something wrong with the people we're dating. We don't want your pity and we don't want to feel like we're burden. I asked two my friends to tell me if I'm a burden to them.

                   I once overheard a lady talking to her husband about one of her female single friends. She was saying how she felt bad for her single friends, how the single friend was always alone at night but had dates with guys or lunch dates with friends. She was talking about singleness like it was a sickness or a curse. I'd rather be single and miserable than married and miserable.

               I know I dated stinkers, but that doesn't make EVERYBODY I date a stinker. Not all guys are pigs, I just seem to pick a lot of pigs. So if I tell someone about someone who I'm dating the LAST thing I want to hear is "so what's wrong with him?" even if you say it jokingly it still hurts. Also if you say "keep your eyes open with this one" it's still like saying there's something wrong with them. If there is something wrong with the person someone you love is dating then tell them what the problem is specifically.

            When someone asks "oh are you dating anyone?" And I say no I'm working on some stuff they say "oh you will find someone." NO! I'm good! I could go on and on about what not to say to a single person but there's tons of youtube videos on that. Basically if you watch the video "stuff people say to single people" or "stuff Christians say to singles" that's the list of what not to say to us.

             So what do you say or think? If you receive a "he dumped me" text go to her and just let her literally cry on your shoulder. Let him vent and cuss. And when they say "what do I do?" give them your advice. All I wanted after my last break up was someone to sit in my bed with me and say "he was ugly...... and stupid...... but he'll get his one day and I hope we're there when it happens." And when your friend grabs your hand after a break up and says "I love you" say it back or say "I know" and give her hand a tight squeeze.

Why sex is so hard to talk about

                    Sex is hard to talk about because we don't know how or when to talk about it. Even writing this I have no clue what to say. There's also the added complications of gender identity and sexual orientation. There's also porn addiction. Also with the introduction of 50 shades of grey the fetish and kink community is now in the spot light.

                   The church has messed with our heads as well. Those of us who have not had sex yet are curious and have had it bashed in our heads that it's precious. I read an article about this girl who had to leave the church because after she got married she felt guilty and dirty. We as Christians have to ask ourselves have we shamed sex?

                            I was always taught that sex was beautiful when done in the "right way". That means any reason beyond love is wrong. This day and age sex is so different because people don't wait for love, they also don't just do it with people who they love. We shouldn't "shame" those who have sex nor should we shame those who haven't.

                         Sex shouldn't be this ugly thing we don't talk about cause then people act out. Parents should also say if the kid should do something before marriage there is no shame and tell the child about safe sex.

Celebrating those who love

  

 

You may not agree with  the Jenners or the Kardashian but I truly believe that Khloe is amazing to Caitlyn. She visits her, brings her shoes and treats her with dignity. So I want to celebrate her for being amazing.

 

 

 

What I wish pregnant, married, engaged, parents and dating people knew

                 I'm single, with out kids and nor do I plan to be getting married or have babies any time soon. Having said that, I wanted to give some advice to all those who are pregnant, married, engaged, parents and are in a relationship. Now I'm not cynical or bitter but you don't have to be those to relate to this post. I'm happy for you but this is what I wish you knew. To all of the groups I've named please don't take what you have for granite and don't complain about what you have to someone who's not in the same boat as you. For example if you're pregnant or have kids don't complain about being pregnant or having kids to someone who doesn't have kids or isn't pregnant because you don't know how they feel about being pregnant they might be longing to be pregnant but can't get pregnant you just never know.

              To pregnant people and parents, be careful how you speak to non parents and people who are not pregnant. Some people can't get pregnant so they long for all your complaints if you say "I'm so tired of being pregnant" or whatever you are going to cause women who want to be pregnant but can't get pregnant to you think "at least you are pregnant" and they would get so mad at you so just watch what you say around people because she don't know how much of a longing they have for what you have. Some nonpregnant people look at you and they could be jealous because some women may want to be pregnant but can't get pregnant so they're going to look at you with a jealousy.

          
           To married or engaged people and people in a relationship I say to watch complaints. Also watch over doing PDA. It hurts me when I see everyone paired off. Also when you say stuff like "You'll find someone.... don't worry about it." or "I don't understand why you're still single." I don't know why I'm still single, I take comfort in the fact that at least I have my friends.


       So to everyone who isn't single or childless I say be nice and just be a friend